Interview with Dr. Anjum Heera Durgahee, Clinical Psychologist: "The Pink Walks Have Created a Gender Barrier"
In an insightful interview with Dr. Anjum Heera Durgahee, a clinical psychologist, she discusses how men experience breast cancer in unique ways, often intertwined with fear, vulnerability, and a desire to support.
Breast cancer is still commonly perceived as a "women's battle." Dr. Durgahee explains that this perception arises because the disease has historically been linked to femininity, as it affects a symbolic organ of motherhood, seduction, and gentleness. Awareness campaigns and pink walks have primarily featured women, inadvertently creating a gender barrier.
However, breast cancer impacts not just women but an entire ecosystem: partners, children, parents, and colleagues. Reducing it to a "women's issue" downplays the emotional struggles of men, who also experience fear, helplessness, and sometimes loneliness.
She highlights that men may feel discomfort when faced with a sick breast because breasts are commonly associated with beauty, desire, and motherhood. The disease challenges their perceptions, causing confusion about how to relate to a transformed body.
Some men go through a form of symbolic mourning for the familiar body, touch, and spontaneity in intimacy. Others feel guilty for their discomfort, wishing to love unconditionally while grappling with their emotions.
Dr. Durgahee notes that men often adopt a spectator role rather than an active participant in the emotional journey, influenced by modesty, fear, and societal stereotypes that dictate how men should express emotions.
Different roles and ages lead to varied reactions: partners fear losing their loved ones or recognizing them in their altered state, fathers feel a protective anxiety, and sons may retreat or deny the maternal fragility they witness. Each individual processes the disease through their emotional maturity and relational role.
She suggests that men can be better involved in emotional support by being officially included in care processes, attending informational sessions, and joining support groups. They need to learn to express their fears and emotions—sometimes a simple gesture can convey more than words.
The experience of breast cancer presents a paradox for men; they wish to be strong yet feel helpless. This inner turmoil can lead to psychological fatigue or emotional withdrawal. Joint therapeutic support is essential to restore emotional balance and space for both partners to breathe during this shared battle.
The stigma surrounding suffering bodies and male silence originates from long-standing cultural norms that discourage emotional expression. True masculinity involves tenderness, vulnerability, and compassion.
In breast cancer awareness campaigns, the focus is mainly on female strength and resilience, often neglecting the silent suffering of male partners, fathers, or sons. Including men in these discussions normalizes their experiences of pain, doubt, and the need for support.
Dr. Durgahee emphasizes that understanding breast cancer also means learning to see women differently—beyond their physical form, appreciating their courage, inner beauty, and strength. The experience can deepen intimacy and emotional connection within couples, but it also requires open dialogue about fears and doubts.
Ultimately, the narrative of breast cancer should not be viewed solely as a feminine ordeal but as a human and relational experience, recognizing the silent courage of men who love, fear, and suffer alongside women battling the disease. It's time to address their emotional struggles and redefine love to be more than just a visual connection.