Leaving to Live: Women Who Refuse to Accept Violence as Fate

Title: Leaving to Live: Women Who Refuse to Accept Violence as Fate

Content: The tragedies keep mounting, and the question remains: why does domestic violence persist despite laws and campaigns? Instead of theorizing, we listened to those who survived. Their testimonies remind us of an essential truth: violence stops not through fear, but through the choice to live.

Marie-Michèle Pyday, 59: "If leaving hurts, staying kills."

"I experienced violence where I thought I would find comfort. We often talk about love and trust, but I learned that love is not enough when it hurts, when it humiliates, when it destroys. For years, I lived in a state of survival, fighting for my life and my children's lives. Yet, I stayed," confesses Marie-Michèle Pyday, who one day decided that fear would no longer dictate her life.

She no longer seeks to justify herself, but simply explains what people often refuse to hear. "People judge easily. They say, 'Why doesn't she just leave?' But leaving isn’t as simple as opening a door and walking away. It's about confronting fear, shame, and dependency. If it were that easy, domestic violence would have disappeared long ago," she states.

Marie-Michèle speaks of a system that, from childhood, pushes women to bear the burden of the household as a sacred duty. "In our society, women are taught to endure, to bear the burden, to save the home at all costs. If they fail, everything collapses—at least, that's what we are made to believe. So we grit our teeth and convince ourselves that the storm will pass, but it never does. Violence settles in, it gnaws away, it takes up all the space," she adds.

She long believed that love was enough to fix things. "In hindsight, I think I should have reacted at the first signs of violence. When the hand that strikes is the one you held on your wedding day, you want to believe it's just a slip, that he will change. But no, you cannot change an abuser; you can only change yourself by deciding to leave," she adds.

Leaving was painful but vital. "Rebuilding one’s life isn’t simple, but slowly dying is worse. I understood that protecting my children also meant protecting myself. When you are alive, you can rebuild everything. Leaving is choosing life," she says.

Today, she watches with concern a youth too often blinded by the illusion of the perfect couple. "We idealize love. We want romance, promises, passion. But living together is not a fairy tale. It’s a balancing act. When we are not prepared to face frustrations, anger takes root. And if we let anger grow, it always ends up destroying us," she points out.

Her message is clear, almost sharp: "Don’t let time decide for you. Violence never stops on its own. Loving is not suffering. Change requires courage, not excuses. We do not always choose violence, but we can choose to leave it. As long as we breathe, we can start over."